Teen parents live with bad choices

Being a parent is not easy. Being a teen parent brings its own special challenges.

Besides getting up in the middle of the night with a new baby or a sick child, teenagers still have a high school education to complete and frequently do not have the financial wherewithal to support a family.

Kori Bailey, 18, knows firsthand what it's like to raise a child while still in school.

She got pregnant midway through her freshman year at Willows High School, but she will graduate with her class this spring. She plans to become an anesthesiologist.

By the time Trinity, 2, was born, Bailey was 16 years old and the father, who participates in the baby's life, was 17.

"It was hard at first," she said.

After the baby was born in July 2007, she could not return to playing sports or cheerleading, though she does now. Her life changed in other ways as well.

"I stay home more than I used to," she said. "I had to grow up fast."

Though Bailey said she does everything to care for her child — including staying home when Trinity is sick — she admitted she does not do it on her own. Like many teenage parents, Bailey relies on family, especially her mother.

Bailey lives with her mom and spends weekends with her dad. Both parents help financially and her mother buys clothes, food and other necessities. She also babysits when Bailey wants to go out or has a game.

Though she loves her baby, Bailey wishes she had waited to get pregnant.

"I think kids should wait," she said. "If it happens, it happens and you have to deal with it and do the best you can."

California reports 56 babies were born to teenaged girls in Glenn County in 2008, down from 63 in 2007.

However, a comparison with previous studies reveals a fluctuation from an average of 51.3 teen births in 2001-2003 to 56.7 in 2003-2005 and 52.3 in 2004-2006.

Rebecca Diaz agrees that teens should not be having children.

The 17-year-old Willows High junior gave birth in September. She became sexually active at age 15 and got pregnant at 16, she said.

Diaz and Marcos Malagon, 17, the baby's father, said they did not use protection during sex, because they "just didn't think it was going to happen," Diaz said.

"I always said I would never be that person," she said. "I was shocked, when I found out. ... It didn't really connect at first."

Having a baby during her junior year in high school "has been difficult; but, it's growing on me, it's getting easier," Diaz said.

Being pregnant and attending school was difficult too.

"I felt like I stood out from everybody else. I was not a typical teenager," Diaz said. "People stared at me and that made me uncomfortable."

Even harder for Diaz was being rejected by a cousin and, especially, her older brother, to whom she always was close.

"It was like a slap in the face to him," she said.

Malagon, a junior at North Valley Continuation High School, said he was shocked when Diaz told him they were having a child.

But his shock turned to happiness fairly quickly, "because I'm always around my little nieces and now I have a child myself."

Like Diaz, Malagon's life has changed. He makes an effort to be in Willows several times a week to see Aaliyah and help Diaz take care of her. Other priorities have changed as well.

"I actually have to do things, like find a job. It's difficult looking for anything now," he said, adding that he is willing to work at just about any job.

"It's important because I have to take care of her," referring to Aaliyah.

For now, Malagon's family helps out financially, but Diaz's parents make the biggest contribution in helping the young mother and father. They even bought a new car, because the one they had wasn't big enough.

While Diaz is at school, her grandmother watches the baby and her parents take care of Aaliyah when the teen mom wants to go out.

Being a teen father has changed Malagon's attitude.

"Before, I was more into myself," not thinking about others, he said. Now, Malagon, who lives with his 27-year-old brother, looks toward the future.

"I want to give my daughter a more traditional family," he said, noting that he plans to attend college.

"I like being a dad. It's not just me anymore," he said.

One of the biggest changes for Diaz is she not lying to her parents anymore.

"I used to lie to my parents all the time about where I was going," she said. "I don't do that anymore."

"Everywhere I go, I like to take Aaliyah with me. If it's not a safe environment, why would I lie about it?" she added, saying she is more aware of what can happen now.

Besides wishing they'd waited until they were older to have a child, Diaz and Malagon wish they had talked more about their options before becoming sexually active.

They didn't think about the consequences, they said.

All three young parents offered the same advice to other teens: Use protection. And, wait until you're older to have a baby.

"Having a baby doesn't make you mature. It has to come from you," Diaz said.

She would rather have been married and had a stable job before starting a family, she said.

Still, as difficult as it is to be a teen parent, Bailey, Diaz and Malagon love watching their children grow.

Bailey — who has "learned to be a better person, to be a role model" — said the best part of being a teen mother is seeing her daughter "discover new things. She's so energetic and full of life."

For Diaz, a positive side is "when I have a bad day, I can just look at her, think about her and it makes me smile."

And, even though he feels the pressure to do well in school and to find a job, "I have something to look forward to everyday," Malagon said.