About Town: 'Fly me to the moon!'

I know that most of you have heard that song for many years. It is now taking on a new meaning. You can be cremated when you die, and, then, for the sum of about $10,000.00 you can have your ashes sent up to the moon for burial. Of course, there wouldn’t be anyone there to do the burying, but, on the other hand, I guess the ashes could just lay there on the ground or whatever they call the ground on the moon. Since apparently nobody lives up there, it wouldn’t matter if the container didn’t get buried, and your family could look up at the moon and imagine just where you might be up there. Of course, the price is a little high for most of us, but then it would be a interesting place to have your ashes spend eternity. You’d better state your intentions in your will, though, or some heirs might not like to spend that much money just to get rid of you.

Will someone out there tell me what a “wee” is or maybe it’s “we.” I think it’s some kind of gadget that you can use to watch a video, but I am at a loss as to what it really is or does. When I was a kid I knew what “wee wee” meant, but I don’t think that has anything to do with the current item. I just can’t seem to keep up with all the new information that increases every day. I still have friends who have never laid their hands onto a computer, and don’t have the desire to ever do so. Personally, I’m typing this column on a computer, but then I must wait for someone to come along and correct any errors I might have made. And, sometimes, those errors are really boo boos. I often hit a wrong key and the entire typed area goes amuck. I’ve never seen an Ipod which I understand just plays music, and that the young’uns carry around with them. Time isn’t slipping by in my book, it’s going so fast I can’t even catch sight of most of it on the way. You know I’m just kidding, of course, but I am running to try and keep up with all the modern inventions.

According to statistics, 96 percent of people talk to themselves occasionally or often. You argue with yourself, or ask questions out loud or tell yourself what you have to do next. One thing that you have to say out loud is an expletive. Particularly if you are taking the name of the Lord in vain. My favorite expletive is H E double toothpicks. Nowadays, though, maybe people don’t think of the word Hell as an expletive. Guess it depends on how, why, and when you say it. So next time you talk to yourself, just remember you are in the great majority of people in the world.

I understand that the project of renovating the old Booth Hotel is still on the Orland City agenda. At a TAC meeting last month (TAC stands for Technical Advisory Committee), the new owner, Ray Hobb’s plans were considered. Sure would be nice to have that corner of town spruced up. I don’t know too much other City news, except the fact that City Manager Joe Riker, told me that he would probably be leaving Orland by next September. Seems the Rikers have purchased a new home somewhere in Oregon, but I could be mistaken in the State. We wish them good luck wherever they plan to retire.

I am told that more and more people are meeting friends and acquaintances with a kiss instead of just a handshake. The current question is should you give a handshake, a kiss on one cheek or a kiss on both cheeks when you meet a friend. If those meeting are a man and a woman, the woman gets to decide what moves to make. If it is a boss and employee, the boss gets to decide, and if it is you and a client, the client gets to decide. But be prepared. Practice up on those little kisses because you certainly do not want to leave a little slobber on the cheek. You would think that with all the diseases that are going around, you wouldn’t want to receive too many of those wet kisses if you are a man especially. Being a woman, I’ll take a kiss anytime.

April Fool’s day has come and passed, and I guess I’m the biggest fool at last because no one even approached me to give me a bad time except my friend, Linda. She doesn’t ever miss a thing. Now it is time to get serious about your income tax, property tax, car tax and April showers. Finally Spring is here!!